Influence
by Jish
Summary: Luke, now close to finishing his first year in high school, begins to reflect on his life. He has changed, and he is proud. But everybody still has their "stuff," as both his sisters once said. Luke is no exception. He has his stuff, but he doesn't let it interfere with his life. In fact, he makes it a part of his life. But, he's not quite ready to move to the next step. On-going.
1. Musings

**Disclaimer: I do not in ANY WAY own Modern Family.**

**A/N: So, it's been a while. I have recently fallen in love with Modern Family and I have seen all of seasons 1-4. Anyway, I also fell in love with Luke. I just image him so different on the inside, and I think I can make many of the ideas I have for Luke-centric stories work.**

**Also, please review!**

**Here it is:**

**Influence (Chapter 1)-Musings**

I wonder how he did it. It's not like it's easy to keep something about yourself so hidden for so many years. How did he stay so strong? Well, I guess he did have my mother as support. But, he didn't really have my grandfather.

But, that's not to say Grandpa didn't love him. Hell no! He loved the crap out of him! He just wanted him to stay safe and happy.

But, who am I kidding? Compared to my situation, Uncle Mitchell's isn't as bad. That's not to say it was easy. I've already gone through that. But at least he _likes_ people.

I, well, like nobody.

I think it's easier for people to accept a gay person easier than an asexual person. Because, with a gay person, they have the same urges, just not for the "norm" gender. But with asexual people, they can't relate, at least on such an intimate level. A lot of my friends say they lost their virginity already (I happen to think they're talking crap), and I try to act interested. But...I can't.

"Luke?" Dad asks me. He looks at me with so much pride. And...I like it. He's always been proud of me, but not he has a reason to be proud. I got straight A's last semester, and I did on the second-to-last report card of this semester.

This actually takes me back to last summer, when I had to go to summer school for failing Pre-Algebra. I was so distracted by my orientation (or lack, thereof?) that I completely spaced in class. Over the summer, Alex helped me learn everything (I swear, she should be a college professor or something) and I even got a year ahead in an online course during the Summer after Pre-Algebra. Now, I'm getting an A in 10th grade math, even though I'm only a freshman.

"Yeah, dad?" I ask him, not taking my eyes off the road in front of me. I like to look at the scenery when people drive. I like to create stories for the people or the animals I see. I like to just forget about my life, just for a few moments, and be the character I create.

"I just want to tell you again how proud I am of you. You really have come a long way in school. You've even inspired your sister to go back to school. Not only that, Luke, you have matured so much. Your mother and I...we're just lucky to have a son like you." Dad says, focusing on the road once again.

"Thank you, Dad. I'm lucky to have you and Mom as my parents. I love you both so much." I say, and then we stop. No need to get all mushy and gross.

When we get home, I carry my backpack upstairs and avoid that freaking step. I go to my room and close the door. I turn on the fan and just lie there, wondering what to do.

Normally, I would try to continue some of my stories or come up with new ideas. But, today, I just want to nap. Today was more exhausting that it usually is. The bullies were at full force today.

But I will always defend my family, no matter what. Nobody messes with Manny. Though he's technically my step-uncle, he's like a brother to me.

Not only were they ragging on him about his poetry and clothes, they started talking about Mitchell, and being his step-brother, Manny didn't take it too kindly.

I feel so bad for him. He's really great at ignoring them (Manny even asked me in the past not to interfere) but they started to get physical and that's where I had to step in. I didn't throw a punch. When I got there, they kind of just backed down.

I...have a reputation. I've gotten into a few fights, some defending Manny, some defending my Uncle, even some defending myself. Amazingly, I've never really been caught.

This is one of the reasons why I'm glad Alex is still here at the school, as a senior. First, Alex never butts into my business unless I specifically ask her to. She knows what it's like to have your older sister help fight your battles for you. But, she helps me keep things from Mom and Dad. She's like my go-to alibi in case I ever need one. Not only that, she can vouch for me at school and say I was attacked first, though the other students know the truth.

I wonder what changed within me. Maybe it's just my acceptance of my own asexuality. I can't even think of another reason; that one alone gives me enough pride because I can accept it. It makes me strong like my Uncle.

I've debated talking to him about this. I mean, it is supposed to be this hard to come out to a gay relative? Maybe. Definitely.

I'm just not ready to come out yet. Nobody knows, and it's going to stay that way until I am good and ready.

**A/N: Such a short chapter! I know, I know. But I have tons of things to write in as I go along, so don't worry. How do you guys like my interpretation of end-of-freshman-year Luke? This is the first kind of Luke-centric story I've seen. And, if it turns out well, I have tons more ideas to play around with. Also, don't forget to review!**


	2. Reflections of the Past

**Disclaimer: I do not in ANY WAY own Modern Family.**

**A/N: Nothing really, this time. I just like all the ideas I have for Luke in my mind. The thing is, they're little ideas and I don't know how to connect them. Sometimes, my mind wanders to the character in a completely different scenario, or doing the opposite of what I originally intended. It's becoming more difficult to organize my ideas and it's sometimes discouraging. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.**

**Also, please review!**

I wonder what changed within me. Maybe it's just my acceptance of my own asexuality. I can't even think of another reason; that one alone gives me enough pride because I can accept it. It makes me strong like my Uncle.

I've debated talking to him about this. I mean, it is supposed to be this hard to come out to a gay relative? Maybe. Definitely.

I'm just not ready to come out yet. Nobody knows, and it's going to stay that way until I am good and ready.

**Influence (Chapter 2)-Reflections of the Past**

That was a nice nap. I wish I can recall some of the dreams I've had. I really like to sleep; I like to dream, especially when I'm stressed. When I'm stressed, I have many dreams, some relatively normal and/or realistic, and some pretty out there.

I reach for the stand next to me and feel for my phone. I press a button and the light hurts my eyes. I close one and look at the time. 6:32 PM. It's actually pretty early still. Too bad I can't fall back asleep. 

I set my phone down and wonder what to do. I don't want to play any game, I don't have much homework to do. I have some Algebra 2 problems, but I can do those tomorrow at school. In the end, I decide to turn on the TV and hope there's something good on my favorite channel.

Nope.

"Ahh!" I groan out loud, wishing to be asleep or remembering a dream or inspired to write again. I've just been in a mental slump lately. And it's not because of my revelation. Lately, I've become indifferent to everything, except family and homework. I've been distancing myself from the few actual friends I have (though the word "actual" may not even fit). Overall, I would consider myself miserable.

But why?

I really have no reason to be miserable. I have a great family, my grades are excellent, my family has nice living conditions, and I accept myself. Is it because I'm keeping a secret?

Maybe.

But all in all, I'm not miserable. Not in the slightest; I'm just missing something. I hope I can find it soon.

I decide to head downstairs, where Alex and Haley are watching a movie on TV, each with a bowl of popcorn.

I like seeing them like this. It makes me happy to know that my sisters really do care about each other and spend time with each other, instead of truly hating each other like some of my peers (I hesitate to use "friend") and their siblings do.

It reminds me of that time on New Year's Eve last year, when I had this girl Becca over and Manny had Joyce and my sisters were babysitting. It's funny because I knew exactly what my sisters were thinking, that I was going to try to do stuff with Becca. I even played along by saying I wanted to make out with her. So, I told Becca the plan and she played along. We never kissed, never hugged, just talked because we were actually setting up Manny and Joyce (who was nervous to go alone).

After that night, I thought maybe I should try to make myself like someone. Then came...Simone. I'll admit, I felt something toward her. I thought me and her would get along. I consider it a "pre-crush," and that was good enough for me to attempt something. So, I had Dad take me to the mall to help me get with her, but it fell out. And I'm glad. I definitely did not have a crush on her.

I wonder though, who will I have a crush on? Who will I fall in love with? Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I don't have the need for companionship, the need to love and be loved.

I don't think it will be limited to gender. Honestly, I can fall in love with anyone. What would I be then? Asexual, but bi-emotional? I guess, but I want to wait until I'm in college to worry about stuff like that. I'm fifteen already and almost at the end of my freshman year, and I only have three years left of high school. I want to enjoy it while I can.

Thinking about all this makes me think of Stella. I really wish we had a pet. With a pet, I would never really be lonely. I kind of wish that Grandpa Frank would have left Scout with us. Not only would we all love him, Mom would be happier too. I can tell Mom feels empty inside because we're all growing up. Scout pulled at her strings and he would give Mom some stability in her life.

"Hey guys." I say to Haley and Alex, who turn around and smile. "Watcha watching?"

"We don't know. We just flipped the channel and started watching. It's not too interesting." Haley says, grabbing some popcorn from the bowl.

"I see. Where're mom and dad?" I ask, stealing some popcorn from Alex's bowl.

"They went out with Grandpa and Gloria because Manny has a 'date' and Baby Joe is with Cam and Mitch." Alex says, slapping my hand as I reach for more popcorn.

"Oh." I guess that means no homemade dinner tonight. Luckily, there's still some leftover lasagna from a couple of nights ago.

I heat up the lasagna in the microwave and I prepare a glass of chocolate milk with some extra salt. I gotta say, that girl Manny liked was really on to something with that, especially when some milk gets caught on what few hairs I have on my upper lip. I lick it off and taste the salt.

Usually, we eat together as a family, and we have common family banter. Dad usually says Gil Thorpe beat him in something (which is totally unfair; something incredibly unlucky always happens to Dad to cause him to lose; we all know Dad is the better realtor), Mom tries to comfort Dad (though he shouldn't need it!), and Haley and Alex have their own side-conversation.

Me, on the other hand, I try to make things interesting. Like that one time during breakfast when I was playing my video game I dipped my chin and mouth into my cereal and drank it while I played. That was pretty cool, honestly. Then there was that other time Dad and I tried to make self-flipping pancakes and it worked!

But right now, there's really no atmosphere. At times like this, I usually think about certain scenarios happening to me and just having them play out in my mind. Oftentimes I picture coming out to any member of my family, and they mostly end up well. I never imagine it going badly because I don't think it will, and I just wouldn't be able to get through it.

Sometimes, though, I imagine telling my late friend, Walt. I really do miss him. I'll admit, I was trying to ignore my pain when he died, but Mom and Dad helped me understand and accept my feelings. They let me grief without pushing me. I imagine him smiling and telling me that I'll still grow up to me a nice, successful, happy, family man.

After finishing my food, I decide to try to go back to sleep. Knowing my luck, I'm going to have hell to pay for stepping in on Manny's behalf. That guy who was bothering him is just a bully, and he likes to target people he doesn't think can, or will, fight back. The thing with that guy is though that he doesn't know when to give up. He knows Manny won't change and doesn't care what he has to say. He knows I won't stop defending my family.

I fall asleep thinking about one more scenario:

If only I had a handball earlier...

**A/N: I'll admit, I really had nothing for this chapter. I know exactly what I want for Chapter 3, but I didn't know how to build up to it at all. But I think I did a decent job of relating my characterization of Luke to his canon events of the show. Also, don't forget to review!**

**Before I forget, I would like to thank all the reviewers so far. It means a lot to hear how much you guys liked Chapter 1 and I hope what I have in store will live up to your expectations. Thank you all once again.**


	3. Circular Attention

**Disclaimer: I do not in ANY WAY own Modern Family.**

**A/N: I know it's been a while. I've been writing other stuff, and I've been trying to get inspiration for this story. But I think I finally have some concrete ideas to try out. Let's see how it goes.**

**Also, please review!**

I decide to try to go back to sleep. Knowing my luck, I'm going to have hell to pay for stepping in on Manny's behalf. That guy who was bothering him is just a bully, and he likes to target people he doesn't think can, or will, fight back. The thing with that guy is though that he doesn't know when to give up. He knows Manny won't change and doesn't care what he has to say. He knows I won't stop defending my family.

I fall asleep thinking about one more scenario:

If only I had a handball earlier...

**Influence (Chapter 3)-Circular Attention**

"Luke, why do you have to be such an idiot sometimes?" Alex asks me as we walk home at a slower pace today. Yesterday, Dad drove me home because he had to pick up something he left, while Alex had a Leadership meeting.

I never do get a straight answer when I ask her what the Leadership club actually does for the school...

"Haha, come on, sis! I totally whooped their asses!" I say, raising my free arm high and grunting from the pain.

"Yes, you did, and it was kind of awesome. But, really? Three guys? You could have been seriously hurt, dude." She says, and I see her shaking her head through my peripheral vision.

"No way! I'm way too tough for them. You were there! You saw how I caught that guy's fist mid-punch and just kneed him in the gut so hard he puked!" I say, smiling at the memory.

"Then his gang of two bozos tried to do twice the damage to you." She says, sort-of chuckling.

"I honestly don't even remember what happened with them. I know I got punched a few times and stuff, but I somehow took them down as well. I'm just glad that we weren't caught. I don't think they would believe you vouching for me _again_." I say, feeling a little guilt that the think I was worried about the most was getting caught.

"Well, at least I can vouch for you at home." She says, and I nod my head at that.

"Plus, at school, I don't think Manny's going to get any more trouble. Especially from those three idiots. Me, well, uh..eh." I kind of smile and grit my teeth at the same time.

On one side, those guys definitely won't bother me. But others...might see it as a challenge.

"How do you get yourself into these things, Luke?" Alex asks me before we continue our walk in silence.

The funny thing is that Manny wasn't even there when the fight happened. The guy from yesterday just showed up (while I was trying to finish yesterday's homework too!) and pulled me up by my shirt. He stared at me for a few seconds before trying to punch me. I caught it, and then the fight happened.

I am a little bit banged up, but it was worth it. It wasn't until our last class together that Manny finally asked me about it. Of course, I played it down. After all, it was done. I wasn't even that sore (at the time, anyway). He neglected to tell me the details of his 'date' the previous night, though...I'll admit I am curious.

Soon, Alex and I reach out front door. When she opens it, however, she punches me in my arm and runs away! Though in pain, I can't help but smile at her antics.

I don't remember exactly when Alex and I started to get so close. All I know is that it's been beneficial for all of us. I started getting my act together when it really mattered (right before high school), Alex got a bit less serious about everything (as can be _felt_ by my still throbbing arm!), and Haley is bettering herself by both of our maturities.

I wonder if my family thinks about my (sudden?) changes. I can't help but try to pick their minds to experience their perspective of me. I kind of wish that someone would just sit me down and ask me about everything. Ask me for a reason for the changes. Of course, I wouldn't tell them about being asexual or the fights, but it would be nice for someone to ask, not just observe or make comments.

"Hey, Mom!" Alex and I shout as we enter the house. "Where's Haley?" Alex asks, already halfway up the stairs.

"Isn't it great? Haley went out looking for a part-time job!" She figures she should look now so she can get the job by the time college finishes for the year!" Mom says, coming out of the kitchen wiping her almost-dry hands. I don't show it on my face, but I don't think I could be any more proud of my oldest sister right now.

Mom turns her head to look at me and I can see a very slight bobbing of her head, as if nodding in appreciation...or pride?

Again...just observing, and not asking.

"How was school today, honey?" She asks me, and I just shrug. She just shrugs back mockingly with a smirk and goes back into the kitchen. It is nice to see mom being more playful now. I guess she and dad are both the 'fun' parent now.

I head up the stairs, only going by muscle memory up the stairs. When I reach my room, I leave it cracked open a bit to get the air flowing. It's almost summer now and the temperatures are rising.

_Brring!_

"Hmm?" Is the sound that comes out of my mouth when I take my cell phone out of my left pocket and check it. I apparently have a new message...from an unknown number.

The only people outside of my family who have my number are group members from projects earlier in the year (who all are quite nice acquaintances; even now we still chat and whatnot) and Reuben.

Oh, God. Reuben.

I don't know what the hell happened to him. In Middle School, I would have considered him (besides Manny, who is family) to be my best friend. Then, pretty much out of nowhere, he turned on us.

It started after he went to this party the upperclassmen threw at the beginning of the year. He told us that he was invited, and Manny and I were truly excited for him. Then the next day, he pretty much told us to go screw ourselves.

I honestly don't know what anyone said or did to him, but it ruined him. He always got good grades (not perfect, but did qualify for regular honors), but he is failing almost every class. (In fact, he was failing math so badly that our teacher asked me to tutor him. I immediately rejected and she didn't press the subject further.)

So, it doesn't surprise me that he would have given away my number. I don't think my old partners would have, I asked them not to and they respected that. And, especially after the fight earlier, I have definitely attracted attention to myself.

_i heard about the fight earlier. it was cool how you took down those mormons_

_lol sorry i meant morons_

I chuckle slightly at the autocorrect error of 'morons.' Even I fall victim to it on occasion.

_Who is this? How did you get my number?_

I know this is all an intimidation tactic.

_Oh. its tammy. you know from bio. i asked one of ur friends for ur number_

Yeah, right. However, she is actually in my biology class. Tammy is the girl who won Homecoming Princess or whatever crap it is for freshman. In a way, she's the unofficial most popular female freshman. I can see why use her. Most popular girl would make most guys somewhat vulnerable. And my number from a friend? Definitely Reuben.

I have to admit though, she is a bit of a ditz. The bad chatspeak is a nice touch and it adds to the deception. I decide to just play along for now.

_Ohhs. I see. Well, what's up then?_

I hope he/she gets to the point quickly. Mom started dinner early (dad made a huge sale and got to take the rest of day off or something) and I am already hungry. My homework and the fight made me miss lunch itself.

_i was just wondering if you wanna go out sometime. i always thought u were kinda cute and smart and now i know how strong u really are_

Jackpot! His cover is blown already in less than five minutes. Maybe he should pay more attention in InGlesh class...

_Nope._

One word. I'm already losing interest in this. I want food, damn it!

...

...

No response. Whelp, thank goodness that's over already. To be perfectly honest, I expected it to go on longer.

At any rate, I decide to head downstairs where Haley and Dad are walking through the door together. They both seem to be in such a good mood...

...I won't ask. I'll let her tell the good news to all of us.

Alex is already at the table, finishing up the preparations. I wash my hands before sitting down. Dad and Haley are almost losing their skin out of excitement. Mom places the tray of steaks down in the center.

It's an unspoken rule we all grab our food before we start to eat. Just when I am about to dig in, Haley coughs loudly. I look up to see everyone staring at me.

"Uhh...sorry?" I chuckle nervously before paying full attention to the now-even-more-obvious news.

"Well, guys, I did it! I got a job!" Hayley squeaks, but puts her hand out before we can congratulate her. "But, I have to give Dad some of the credit. Using the big sale he made earlier, he made Gil Thorpe, who just happens to me my boss's realtor, write me an outstanding letter of recommendation. Thank you, daddy. I am now working as a mail sorter at the organic foods market!" Hayley says, and we wait a few moments.

"Congratulations, Haley. Hope your tongue doesn't hurt from all the stamps you'll have to lick!" I stick my tongue out at her and the whole table laughs. Though I have changed, it still feels nice to make these remarks every now and then.

For once, dinner conversation is truly alive. Dad talks about his big sale, and how he gets a bonus commission because of the house's area or something. I'm not the first in our family to admit I don't fully understand real estate. Maybe Dad can teach me sometime. Maybe I can go with him to a sale or an open house. Haley explains how though she already has the job, she won't actually start until school is over. The only quiet ones are me and Alex. I can see her occasionally glance at me...

...I would give a lot to experience her perspective of me right now.

Unfortunately or not, she doesn't ask me anything. I'm still a little distracted from the Reuben thing to really participate in the conversation. What did he really want? What does he have up his sleeve for next time.

Maybe tomorrow will tell. Let's see...tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a quiz in Health and I have to run a mile in P.E. Tammy and Reuben have P.E. my period, but with different teachers.

Let me have a day without any excitement tomorrow, please?

**A/N: Wow, this changed a lot already. I wanted to start diverting away from internal monologue and start having plot elements. I have a vague idea how I want these things to start playing out. Was this chapter good? Did I add too many details at once? Also, don't forget to review!**


	4. Hammers and Teasing

**Disclaimer: I do not in ANY WAY own Modern Family.**

**A/N: I noticed that last chapter only had a tiny mention of the main idea of my original idea. I kind of don't like how I made the story change out of nowhere, but I am going somewhere with this. I have it all mapped out...kind of! Hope you guys like this one.**

**Also, please review!**

I'm still a little distracted from the Reuben thing to really participate in the dinner conversation. What did he really want? What does he have up his sleeve for next time.

Maybe tomorrow will tell. Let's see...tomorrow is Wednesday. I have a quiz in Health and I have to run a mile in P.E. Tammy and Reuben have P.E. my period, but with different teachers.

Let me have a day without any excitement tomorrow, please?

**Influence (Chapter 4)-Hammers and Teasing**

I really should have eaten breakfast this morning.

We haven't even started running yet and I already am exhausted. That damn quiz in Health was actually pretty difficult; I didn't really understand some of the questions, some of it was based on stuff we haven't studies in class, and some of it was taken from the beginning of the semester. Basically, it was a troll quiz.

Oh, and the temperature being 95 degrees F doesn't help either. I usually don't mind the heat all too much, but I do on mile days, which happen every two weeks.

As I wait for the coach to start the race, I glance over to where Reuben's class is. He's just sitting alone. I look for Tammy, and I see her running along the track near Reuben's class.

"Go!" The coach yells, and I begin my slow pace. I really don't like to run, especially hungry. It doesn't matter how fast I go anyway, as long as I dress and the coach knows I am trying I will get my A.

I make my way along the track, keeping my head straight but using my peripherals to look at Reuben's class getting up. They start to run, and I see Reuben fall back to the end of the class. I just continue along the track, eyeing my prey and gathering information.

As I near finishing my first lap, I see Tammy pass Reuben. If they were in cahoots, they would be talking...

Oh, what's this?

I see Reuben start speeding up until he's next to Tammy. Interesting...now I decide to speed up. Considering that they're only about half a lap ahead of me, I don't need to waste that much energy. Through my peripherals, I don't even see them look to me as I pass them. I give them thirty seconds before something happens...

...Nothing. Maybe in another few minutes...

...Just finished lap two. Nothing. At least, nothing with them. Me, on the other hand, is miserable. Sweat really stings when it gets in one's eye.

...Lap three done. When did I start speeding up again? I see Reuben and Tammy only about a quarter lap in front of me now. Did I really overlap them without even noticing? Maybe it was the sweat... I soon pass them again without looking at either one of them directly.

"Hey, Luke!" Speak of the freaking devil.

Maybe I would do well on a stakeout. I had the patience and foreknowledge to be able to predict this would happen. I just got the timing off, but I knew it would happen!

"Hmm?" I look back and slow down a bit. I don't want them to be suspicious of me!

"I'll catch up." She quickly says to Reuben before she catches up to me. Reuben, on the other hand, just speeds up and finishes however much his coach told him to run. "Sorry about asking you that last night out of the blue. It probably irked you out a bit."

Irked? Did he tell her to use weird words that that? Does he think that would impress me?

"...Yeah. A little. May I ask who it was that gave you my number again?" I already have her cornered.

"You know, that Mexican kid, Manny. He asked me out on a date, and I said that I would if I got your number. But, I didn't go. I told him I'd meet him up somewhere and I didn't go. I just wanted to get your number." Wow. I'll admit it, that was a good plan. Too bad they picked the one wrong person to fuck with...

"One. He's not Mexican. He's Colombian. Two, he's my step-uncle." I say, wanting to just finish this lap already. I didn't even notice how much we slowed down to talk.

Seriously, though? Manny asked _this_ out on a date? No wonder why he didn't want to share the details yesterday. It seems like Reuben and Tammy might have been in cahoots longer than I thought.

"Oh, shit." She says, and I laugh. Strike one, yesterday. Strike two, Manny. Strike three, blowing your cover.

"Three strikes. You're out." I say before she grabs my arm. I stop and turn to her. "What?" I scream before ducking!

Shit! That was close!

She was trying to _kiss_ me!

"What the hell is your problem!" I scream, now noticing that the other students in the vicinity are watching us. "You know, I don't even care. Don't you ever try to lay another hand on me! Just stay away!" I scream before slowly continuing my jog to the end. My teacher looks at me with pure bewilderment, but tells me "Good Job!" anyway on the mile. I head to the drinking fountain and drink what feels to be the entire volume of my body in water. I need to make up for the sweat I lost!

I head to the locker room to change into my regular clothes. My coach is awesome like that and lets us get changed as soon as finish what we do for the day and doesn't wait until the last few minutes of the period. And that means I can listen to some music while waiting for the period to end instead of worrying about this Tammy and Reuben nonsense.

I still can't believe that I almost had my first kiss stolen from me. I swear that if she had succeeded, I would have slapped her. Or, maybe I could just have Alex slap her for me later. Oh, crap...

Alex.

What am I going to tell her when she hears about this? If she heard about the fight by the end of the day, she will almost certainly hear about this. Still, because she has Leadership today (she was it every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday), I have some time to think about it.

God, I just want to go home. Only five more minutes until the bell. I pause the song I'm listening to and open the phone feature. I hit "Mom" off my favorites. I'm not in the right mood to walk today, especially if Alex isn't with me.

"Hey Lukey honey. Wassup?" Mom answers after a few rings.

"Mom, can you pick me up today? I'm just really exhausted to walk today." I say, and I can almost feel her smile as she responds.

"Of course, honey. I'll be there in a few minutes." I smile as she says that.

"Thanks, Mom." And I hang up the phone. Because I called her before school actually ended, she should be just about arriving by the time I go to my locker and get to the front of the school.

Why am I always screwing things up? This whole year is just one big screw up. Yeah, I have my grades and my family still. But, have I completely destroyed what little I had in terms of social life and-

I have an essay due tomorrow!

No, no, no, no! How did I forget? Was I just not paying attention today in class for the reminder? I could have gotten a library book during lunch, but now I have to go the Public Library. Thank goodness I always have my card in my wallet...

When the bell rings, I head to my locker and make sure that the essay instructions are in my folder. At least that's there.

So much for my academics going well. Just another thing I'm screwing up. Just another nail in my coffin that is freshman year. Better get that soda ready; this is probably going to be an all-nighter.

* * *

Silence. For ten minutes.

I'm glad that she's not asking me anything, but at the same time it's not like her to. It's like, 'screwed if she does, screwed if she doesn't." Then, almost the thirtieth yawn of the day.

"Why are you so tired?" She finally says something, and I mentally facepalm.

"I was up all night writing that freaking essay. I started right after I got home from the library, only stopping for dinner. I finished right when I was supposed to wake up. So, approximately a total of thirty-three hours without sleep and about ten hours of an essay does make one tired." I retort, surprisingly not smiling at all.

I don't tell her this, but I did find some...interesting books at the library before I left. I looked up some books on asexuality, trying to understand it better myself. They didn't appeal to me as much as I thought they would, but maybe my family could read them if and when I eventually do tell them. I didn't check them out, but I did write the names and authors down for reference.

"I can't believe you have all-nighters in ninth grade. Then again, you _are_ Luke Dunphy." Well, then! I guess I haven't changes as much as I had thought!

"Yeah, yeah. But I got it finished. And the teacher will love it like all my other work." We both chuckle before there's silence once again between us. The only sound that can be heard is our feet each step.

"So, about yesterday, I was thinking that-" I cut her off.

"No." I state plainly.

"Luke, please. Just what-" I again cut her off.

"_No, Alex!_" I sort-of shout at her.

"She only tried to kiss you!" She says quickly, as if it was nothing.

Okay. I don't know if it's because I'm asexual or not, but I do not want my first kiss to be forced or stolen from me. Especially not from some bimbo who is probably doing who-knows-what with Reuben. I want my first kiss to be nice, special, and meaningful. Guy or girl, it doesn't really matter. We just have to actually _like_ each other.

"_Only?_ Are you kidding me right now, Alex?" I stop walking for a second. I am actually very furious with her.

"What? It's would have only been one kiss. Not a big deal." She stops as well, shrugging when she says it.

"Really? How would you like it if your first kiss was stolen from you?" I ask her, not quite realizing that I spilled a bit too much information.

"It was." She says, in a nonchalant sort of tone. That tone and her response...just don't mix.

"What? When? I'll kill the bastard!" I shout, and she only chuckles.

"I don't see it as a big deal. If fact, I liked it. It was two years ago in Wyoming. Remember the dude ranch we went to? You blew up a birdhouse with Mitchell, might I add?" Of course, leave it to her to bring up something like that to try to distract me.

But, seriously? How could she be so accepting of that? A first kiss is special. You both should want it when it happens. The idea alone of having it taken from you is just awful.

"And...that was almost your first kiss? What about that girl last year who you had over when Haley and I babysat? " Oh, crap. I was hoping that would stay a joke.

"We pretended. I said that just to freak you and Haley out. What can I say? I love to mess with you guys." I say, trying to lift some of the tension.

"Still. She is one of the most popular girls in your grade, maybe even that school. That much I know. Most guys would love to get kissed by her, not tell her to never try to touch them again." She shrugs matter-of-factly and signals us to continue walking.

Well, I'm not most guys. Not because I'm asexual, but because I still have some self-respect. If I wasn't asexual, I still wouldn't try to lose my virginity at the earliest possible moment. I would wait. Maybe not until _marriage_, but until I find someone I love.

"Well, I'm not most guys. I'd like to think I'm more...interesting than most guys." I don't even know what kind of tone came out of my mouth with those words. It was just...teasing in a way.

"No you are not, that's for sure." She puts her arm around my shoulder. "And I wouldn't have it any other way, my oh-so 'interesting' brother of mine." She says before we both have a nice laugh and continue our walk home.

All-day and all-night nap, here I come!

**A/N: Trust me, please. This is going somewhere. I do have some sort of timeline planned out. My original idea only focused on Luke's secret, but I decided to give him some other troubles in his life to juggle. I really hope this change in style hasn't turned anyone off from this story. ****Also, don't forget to review!**


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